Take a (Photo) Dump

I was bit by the puzzle bug.



If my niece is a horse, am I am equestriAunt?



The second best holiday gift.



Why you should never trust cell phone pictures.  It's all about the creepy angles.



Best gift ever.  Bitch better have my honey!



I did manage to work out once over the last week.  Push presses, heavy shoulder work.

My kid brother is in town, and he's been talking a lot about how bullshit fake food is (vegan meat substitute and such), and how people should just eat food that looks like food.  Something to ponder.

No year end wrap up.  No resolutions. I'm doing well.  Anything that needs to be changed won't hinge on a calendar change.

But, if you're in to that, listen to this, because it's fucking solid.

Yes, My Garage Is A Mess.

If you do the math, like I did earlier today, you'll realize that means 13 fucking 400m sprints at faster than 5k pace.  Which, what the fuck.

I made an executive decision.  I wanted to run the intervals at 10mph.  That meant (I realized, after interval four) that I'd have to walk the recovery.  The important part about any track workout is the fast part, right?  (I don't actually know please don't ever take running advice from me I have no idea what I'm doing.

A huge, HUGE thanks to Hannah, who tolerated me emailing her whining and wishing for death after ever single interval.  She is an excellent cheerleader.

2 miles @ 6mph warm up

5 miles/13 intervals of:

400m @ 10mph (one interval @9.8mph)
200m @ recovery (starting at 6mph but quickly becoming 3mph)

1 mile @ 6mph cool down

How I felt when I was done:



But that quickly felt like this:



(aka recovered enough to pose for silly/stupid pictures)

The run kicked my ass.  It challenged my lungs and my legs, which was nice.

I also worked out this morning:

x4
100m banded side lunges
5 "around the clock" lunge to shoulder press (forward, side, reverse lunge on each side)

x3
10 goblet squats
10 (per side) bowler/ice skaters with shoulder press
60 seconds jump rope

Yeah, we were more busy complaining about being awake than working out.  It was one of those days.

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So, I guess half marathon training is going well.  My half is on January 12th. I also sort of won entry to a half marathon on the 13 from Monica.  Um.  Yeah.

My plan is to focus on the 12th, and rock it.  It probably won't be the goal time I was dreaming about before I quit running, but it should be okay for only training for a month.  So, bust ass on half #1, and just enjoy half #2.  I told a friend that today and he kind of just shook his head and warned me against it.

But, I like doing stupid things, so we'll see.

Reading Comprehension Fail

9.08 in 1:15.40

Splits (bracket are for the half miles):  9:30, 9:04, 9:23, 9:25, [9:48], 7:35, 7:26, 7:29, 7:10, [7:34]



My goal half marathon pace was 7:51.  I was worried that wasn't realistic, so I did the math and figured out that as long as I came in under 8:30 per ...

Hold on.

I just re-read what the above picture said.  "at marathon pace."  Which would be slower than  my half marathon pace.  Wow.  Reading comprehension fail.

I guess it doesn't matter, since I fucking SLAUGHTERED the second half of my run.  It was hard.  I could feel it in my stomach.  I knew I could slow down, pull back, that I probably should.  But it felt amazing to just let loose.  We'll see what this does to my legs tomorrow, but oh, man, it was fucking rad.



This is the furthest I've ran since the trail half I did, and the fastest I've ran since...I don't even know.  I really don't know.  It's good to know the speed isn't all gone.  And it's good to know the speed still feels awesome.

I still don't know if a 7:51 pace is going to work for this half.  It's a month away, and the second half of tonight's run wasn't sustainable for another 8.6 miles.  Maybe it would have been if I'd been going 7:51 instead of trying to stay under it?  I have no idea.

A Plan. A Real Plan.

Catching flies.

6 miles -- 50:54
8:28 min/mi


==================


So.  I convinced my world famous violinist friend Hannah to buy the app I've been talking about.  Except, she's not training for a half marathon right now, so it's just sitting on her phone.  And I am training ("training") for a half right now.  But the app isn't available on my stupid phone.

Did I mention that Hannah is also some sort of genius?  Because she decided to plug in my information and tell me what to do to train.  So I'm using a virtual virtual running app.  It's kind of awesome.

I don't get paid to shill this, I just know the guys who wrote it, and they worked hard on this, and  I want good things for them, you know?

 

 

 

 

 

This is what she sent me. (We're a day behind, based on my previous runs)

My pace for the six FAST!! sections:  5:54, 6:09, 5:55, 5:59, 6:23, 6:05

Based on these speeds, even though they were in tiny bursts, I skipped my 5k pace post-regular run treadmill dance.  My hamstrings are super tight anyway, so it was a good choice, I think.

The run felt great.  It felt fucking amazing.  My lungs were burning.  My face tingled a little bit.  I felt ALIVE.

=====================

This morning's workout:

x3
12 inclined chest presses (machine)
10 (per leg) step ups

x3
8 chest presses (70lbs, 80lbs, 80lbs)
10 (per leg) weighted step ups (40lbs)

x3
10 goblet squats (20lbs)
12 tricep pulldowns (IDK)

x3
60 second plank
15 (per leg) toe touch crunches

=======================

 

Over the weekend I woke up from a dream with the idea of spaghetti panini in my brain.  I ended up with a different noodle, but the essence was the same.  And it was DELICIOUS.  A+ would eat again.

F**king Magnets, How Do They Work

3.16 miles -- 27:57
9.6mph for 2:15

We upped the pace today because Sky brought his dog over, and apparently large dogs are faster than small dogs.  Shocker.  It was nice to know that Sky can run faster than we've been running.  At some point I'll have to ditch my dog and start pushing Sky harder.

*I* was the one who had an interesting sweat pattern this time.



Time to convert to being a Juggalo, I guess.

The speed running at the end is interesting.  It was harder tonight.  I could feel it in my lungs and in my stomach a little bit.  I'm a long way off from holding that speed for 20 minutes again.  I'm trying to focus on my breathing.  One of my biggest issues with running fast is that at some point I panic and just start gulping down air like I'm drowning.  I need to overcome that if I'm going to get *fast*.

I know I'm not pepping for my January half marathon appropriately.  (If I could get this amazing app on my Android phone it might be easier, hint hint)  I'll be able to finish without being a dying fish.  And I'm running again because of it.  So, I'll be okay.  I'm not sure what my running goals are right now.  Obviously I'm trying to work back up to a sub-20 5k so I can make that shit official.  I'd like to hit the limits of my half marathon abilities on the way.  It seemed so easy to shave ten to twenty minutes off of previous half marathon times, but making the jumps I want to make, I don't know.  Far more daunting.  I'm trying not to think about it, and just focusing on stretching my legs.

Tell me your running goals so I'll be more inspired.

MEAT PARTY MEAT PARTY MEAT PARTY

First:

Ran last night.  3.1 dog miles, even though the dog gets shitty after about 2 miles, and I get shitty for running him further than that.  I'm not killing him, though.  As soon as we get home he races around the house burning off all the energy he refused to use outside.

One of my neighbors has a holiday photobooth in front of his house, so Sky and I and a super blurry Cooper took advantage of it.  Apparently a 5k isn't enough to make Sky sweat kittens or demonic horses anymore.  I guess I'll have to work him harder.

One we were home I threw down 2 whole minutes @ 5k pace (9.6 or something) on the treadmill.  I'm a tenth of the way back to where I want to be!  Upside:  Unlike last week, I do not want to slit my wrists and bleed out during the final few seconds.  In fact, I could probably run a bit longer!  Who knew!  WHO KNEW!  Sorry.  Um, anyway, that's neat.  The issue is totally still my lungs, who lost everything in the lazywar, and now have to rebuilt, breath by breath.  What the fuck am I talking about?

================================

MEAT PARTY!

So, after a few comments about your weird meat choices, I decided to post a little more about the meat party.



Ignore the check boxes; I ate every single thing on that list (except Sky's junk.  His wife is the only one who should check that box dude gross why am I typing this?).  The bison and beef were clear winners, based on how they were cooked.  The biggest loser was pickled pig ear because of the hair and the texture and the smell and every single thing about it.

In the History Of Rose I have also eaten:

-Squirrel (fresh, home skinned)
-Rattlesnake (fresh, home skinned)
-Deer (fresh, home skinned)
-Abalone (fresh, home shucked and beaten inside a pant leg to tenderize)

Growing up rural had its perks/downsides.

What is the weirdest meat you've ever eaten?  What were the circumstances?  I am bolding this so you know it's a question, because that's how the internet works, right?

===========================

Have you bought the Virtual Run Coach app yet?

47 Thousand Things

This morning I did deadlifts again.  Were it not a morning workout I probably would have been dancing with joy.  Instead I grumbled through the whole thing.  In retrospect, it was awesome.  Wonderfully awesome.  There is something inherently satisfying in doing "real" lifts.

x3
20 kb swings

x4
5 floor kiss dls (only 95lbs because it's been a long time, and that's all the weights we have right now.  Boo)

x4
10 strict presses (just the 45lb bar, but that shit sucks, yo)
10 db curls (two 20lbers)

x3
15 per side high to low wood choppers

=====================================



My tri coach and this guy wrote a sweet ass training app.

Virtual Run Coach is the easiest way to build a 16-12 week training plan for a marathon or half marathon. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll have everything you need to PR your next race. Track workouts with graphs and statistics. Bug your friends by tweeting your workouts straight from Virtual Run Coach. You can even calculate goal race time by pace. Pick it up today for only $1.99 in the App Store.

If you have an iPhone, hit that shit up.  If you don't have an iPhone, join me in the corner, where I'll be sobbing in my coffee.  4realz, though, I'm super jealous.  I could use this kind of shit, but not enough to trade in my lovely phone.  *sigh*

=============================================

I ran three times last week (and just didn't blog about the third time because I am lazy as fuck, yo).  And then I took four days off because I'm lazy as fuck, yo.  And repetitive. 3/7 days isn't terrible, but it's not going to get me where I want to be.  Hmmmmm.

==============================================

In the past two weeks I have....


....acted like a dork at SantaCon



...acted like a dork for my 31st birthday



...played football



...feigned affection for my dog



...threw a party where everyone had to bring a different type of animal.  Which means I ate 17 different types of animal in one night, including alligator, rabbit, snail, and quail.



Life is good.  Life is always good.

Tastes Like Burning

1 mile @ dog pace

2.26 miles -- 17:58

1:30 @ 9.7mph



Another run!  I KNOW RIGHT?!

But, Rose.  2.26 miles?  18 minutes?  What the bucket?

So, two things:

1.  I was running with Sky;
2.  I wanted to see if I could hold a 7 minute mile for 3 miles.

In an effort to attempt 2, I lost 1.  He dropped out a mile or so in.  I noticed at some point after that, and looped back home to find him.  My goal was, clearly, not happening anyway.

It was a bit of a pipe dream.  There's a 5k on Saturday where a 22 minute 5k would put me as #1 lady finisher.  Which, sweet baby Jesus would be awesome.

But, my lungs aren't quite ready for that yet.  At some point it will be easy, but not today.  Not this week.

So, yeah.  Go slow you guys said. No stress you guys said.  And I tried out both this evening.

But, hey, failure felt fine.  I head a healthy lung burn.  I pushed myself.  And, you know, it wasn't a pathetically short run if you add in the dog mile.  I don't have to drive 60 miles on Saturday.  I don't have to stress out about a race for 6 weeks.  Sure, it would be nice to win a race, but I'll find one with a weak enough field for me to dominate.  Some day.  This Saturday just isn't that day.

In other news, Sky sweat a cat face:



In other other news, there is no other news.

Good night, and good luck.

Rose Ran? Whoa.

Oh, hey, I ran last night.

With purpose.

I signed up to run a half marathon with a friend in six weeks.  So, I kind of need to train I guess.

1 mile warm up @ dog pace

4.34 miles -- 38:17  (9:04, 9:09, 9:13, 8:10, 7:49)

1 minute on the treadmill @ 9.6mph



Yes, that run was all over the place.  But it felt awesome.

1.  Warming up with the dog was nice, because my focus was not "oh my god this is what it feels like to run again fucking shoot me now!"  It usually takes me about a mile to get in to my runs, so that helped.

2.  I was hesitant to track my actual run because I didn't want to feel bad about my pace.  Plus, I have this fantasy where I space out during a run and accidentally run 6 miles in 40 minutes or something.  When I know my pace and distance, that can't happen (because that's the only thing preventing that from happening, right?).  Anyway, if I'm going to actually, you know, sort of train for this half, I should track what I'm doing and crap.  So I did.  And I felt bad, mentally.  Ish.  Because after taking, what, 5 months off from actually running, I should still be in the shape I was in before, right?  Totally reasonable.  I'm pretty sure I've typed this all out before from previous post-quitting runs.  My pace was fine, etc, etc.  And physically I felt great.  Well, great and awful.  A few familiar aches.  Very aware of my knees and hips.  And the run wasn't killing me.  I was going at what felt like a maintainable pace.  The last mile and change I was pushing myself, and it felt amazing.

3.  One minute on the treadmill Rose are you fucking high?  No.  But I do want to place in my age group in some shitty small town race some day.  And I should probably get an official sub-20 time instead of clinging to some shitty treadmill reading.  So, hey, if I run at sub-20k pace a few times a week, and just increase the time by a tiny bit each time, I'll be back there eventually, right?  We'll see.  I'm not going to focus on that goal, just chip away at it in this half assed manner.

You guys.  I was looking at my old half marathon training plan, from back when I had stars in my eyes.

7:51 pace to hit that goal.

Hmmmm.

On one hand, it's ridiculous to think that in six weeks I can be where I was before, when I had like a year's base or whatever.

On the other hand, that's not *that* fast, right?

I guess I should probably get some pace miles in before I start judging myself.

So, I took my old 14 week training plan and cut off 8 weeks, so it's a gloriously abbreviated 6 weeks.  Lots of 800s and crap.  We'll see how just jumping in goes.

Typing this out makes me slightly more likely to stick with this and not half assed/skytheory another race.

It felt so good to run.  And it felt SO GOOD post run.

Cling to that.  Bottle that.  Maybe this time I'll stick with it.  Maybe this time I won't let the couch win.